The Reframing Thought Initiative
As someone who has constantly struggled with negative self-talk — not even knowing there was a name for it at the time — I’ve learned, the hard way, how important it is to talk to yourself in a positive manner and look at experiences as constructive life lessons.
On my journey to a more positive mindset, I always struggled with the concept of ‘toxic positivity’ — seemingly overtaking our social conduct. Where people expect the opposite extreme, in regard to emotion when faced with negative feelings, thoughts, or experiences. This complete disregard for the perceived negative experience or viewpoint has always felt very invalidating to me. Not understanding the concept of acting as if something isn’t upsetting, disappointing, etc. and expecting it to go away. I was always left feeling wrong in my emotions and lacked any real support. However, I also realize that fully validating perceived negative experiences or emotions can be a slippery slope as well and can, ultimately, prove unbeneficial. So what’s the compromise? How can we make these two courses of thinking meet somewhere in the middle?
Contemplating these questions and pulling inspiration from quotes, tv shows, and my own experiences, I came up with — The Reframing Thought Initiative. The Reframing Thought Initiative is essentially, making the purposeful and conscious decision to reframe negative self-talk, outlooks, or viewpoints, and to view things in a more positive manner while still validating the core emotion or experience. Taking:
I’m awful at this!
And reframing it to be more along the lines of:
Jeez, obviously I am not a pro at this. Although, this isn’t in my usual wheelhouse, and I know I can get better with practice.
The second line of thinking doesn’t disregard the problem by faking-it ‘til you make-it but instead, is constructive while still maintaining a positive undertone. Despite being anti- ‘toxic positivity,’ I can’t stress enough the importance of positivity when it comes to viewing oneself. I mean, think yellow car, see yellow car. Meaning, if you think about the negative, you will mostly see the negative. Whereas, if we turn our fixation to the positive, that is what we will, in turn, end up seeing.
When it comes to the divine, or anything outside the realm of our perceived reality, one thing I’ve always believed to be true is the existence of energy and that it can’t be created or destroyed. It exists all around us, in a coexistence that I haven’t quite defined yet — and I don’t think I ever will. So, when I came across a quote from Bruce Lee, it clicked for me. The way we speak impacts or is impacted by the energy around us.
Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling.
Bruce Lee
This idea can also be connected to the concept of manifestation or the act of manifesting. Using the power of positive thinking to influence our life and experiences.
The Reframing Thought Initiative aims to channel these two concepts into a more day-to-day or continuous practice, setting intentions through the way we speak. This made ideas of positive self-talk, mantras, and manifesting much more attainable for me, as it no longer felt forced. I made small changes to the way I express myself or the lenses I was using to view my experiences, instead of carving out large chunks of time to sit and try meditations or mindfulness exercises that just didn’t feel right for me. As it pertains to mantras, I chose ones that show up more casually in a line of thought or spoken phrase. For instance, struggling with severe anxiety and being a perfectionist to my own detriment, a mantra that I use constantly is, “It’s not that serious.” This isn’t a mantra that will show up in mindfulness lectures, books, or teachings, but it is one that reminds me that although important, the weight I’m assigning to the given task is disproportionate to the reality of the situation or its impact on me.
One of my new favorite shows — Wheel of Time (on Amazon Prime) — states,
Words are important, and how we use them is important.
So, choose your words carefully. Reframe your thoughts to be more positive in nature. And choose mantras or practices that work for you! Because the person who knows you the best is yourself. So, although pulling inspiration from the things, people, and content around you is sometimes essential, use that as a starting point. As the foundation from which you will follow your own course of thinking and build on what you’ve learned to craft values, beliefs, or core tenants you can further live by.
The Reframing Thought Initiative. Take control of perception, molding your thoughts and emotions into a mindset that always allows room for improvement, while also maintaining confidence and a sense of self.